sometimes i feel it's better to die of stress and boredom. den you will know pushing me too hard and giving me no freedom will eventually kill me.
rachel's birthday is coming soon - and she invited her friends to mid valley. well i told mum i'm already form 4 and i want to have at least a little freedom to decide decisions for myself. i want to go out with my friends. i want to see them. and nonetheless she said 'no, i don't like mid valley - that place is dangerous and you are not going to her party. btw exam is coming soon. you should study if you don't want to be the last in class. it's not like you can cope with your sudies also. so why do you bother going out?' that was my response after i asked her permission. 'you can go out with them after spm.' who the hell needs her permission to go out after spm? for god's sake i do not care okay, overprotective person! you didn't think of my feelings and boredness. i've only went out with my friends once. and that time i took such a freaking long time to persuade you. so what if i fail my exams? you just let me stray la in the future.. i won't disturb you..
and this is not the 1st time you did not let me out of house. sheryl's birthday last year was like this time. that time i've cried once. and this is the second time i've cried because of your overprotectiveness. i am tired of all this. i am tired of being locked. i need freedom. i need to go away. and in fact sometimes i actually wish i will die because i do not have freedom. i want you to feel the guilt and for what you have done to me, for what you have forbid me to do. can't you just be like other people's mum? just for this once? i didn't ask much from you, i said i will try get top 20 for you, i said i will not buy anymore dvds with your money, i said i don't want whatever phone i've asked you before. i only need some space. i am tired enough. monday i have seni. tuesday i have lit class. wednesday i have music class. thursday i have band. friday i have band again and art class. saturday and sunday you put me in mandarin class. i just have some freaking things i have to do everyday!!!
and it it this hard for you to let me out.
and so it is - i won't be going to out with rachel and the gang. whatever.
warning: do not push force me to do something i don't like - i will definitely rebel.
